I swear I’m not unemployed, just self-employed and remote; needless to say, I have plenty of time on my hands. And what better way to spend that time than by watching ASHBY’s Lorax live streams? In between keeping up with Kendra Hilty’s I’m-in-love-with-my-psychiatrist docuseries and mentally spiraling after every Aaron Parnas update (everybody say, “Thank you, Aaron!”), ASHBY is providing some much-needed comedic relief.
Although ASHBY has gained some traction with her Hamilton lip-synching skits, her unhinged Lorax live streams made her an official TikTok star. ASHBY’s Lorax live streams typically last upwards of two to three hours, which seems to be the apparent cure for those with little to no attention span. Her strange, Danny Devito-esque sense of humor, shameless philandering, and sticking out her pointy tongue after each punchline, ASHBY’s impromptu performance never fails to entertain.
And the best part? ASHBY claims to have never watched The Lorax.
With so much chaos constantly flooding the media outlets and channels—Israeli murdering journalists in a recent air strike, Trump deploying the National Guard in D.C., and the Supreme Court potentially overturning Obergefell v. Hodges to name a few—tuning into ASHBY’s Lorax live stream and watching the editors’ clips have been arguably just what most of us need. A palette cleanser, if you will.
Not only does ASHBY offer a brief break from reality, but her strange yet engrossing Lorax performance also inspires authenticity. Like so many other online creators, ASHBY puts it all out there and challenges what it means to have a digital footprint. Personally, I cannot help but be in awe of her. I always wonder what goes through creators’ heads when they get ready to film these arguably insane online performances. Call me bashful, but I truly struggle with the notion that so many individuals can put themselves out there in such a raw, weird way.
I’m often inspired by these online creators simply because I cannot picture myself doing what they do. While I enjoy consuming silly, goofy, weird, and even arguably humiliating content, I know that I could never be the one to produce such content. The potential for tens of thousands, if not millions, watching me act outlandishly for views makes me break into a cold sweat. Between the constant warning of having a digital footprint and the relentless nameless, faceless attacks instigating in comment sections, I know I’m not cut out for that kind of work.
Realistically, content creators like ASHBY only survive the potential backlash of questionable digital footprints and ruthless strangers if they’re truly talented. And let’s be real, there aren’t many who can pull off a Lorax costume and offbeat sense of humor like ASHBY. Since so many arguably fail to produce niche yet beloved content, putting myself out there in such a way is too big a risk. Doing something small, such as a “get ready with me” or review, can even garner an insane amount of hate on all social media platforms. I know myself well enough to know that even getting one hate comment will ruin my whole day. Truthfully, I bristle receiving unhelpful comments on my archived blogs on my writing portfolio and cringe reading the Yahoo! comments on my articles. Feedback is one thing, but derogatory and hateful commentary is another, let alone the potential for the whole internet to cancel you over seemingly anything these days.
Dealing with temperamental strangers isn’t the only thing that scares me; I’m also terrified about what my offline community may think. While I may not be a content creator, I have been working in the digital space since 2019. Shortly after graduating from college, I started my first blog, The Crone, a space for my astrological musings. In an effort to have my writing reach a wider audience and build an online community to meet fellow astrologers, I also created my Instagram. By 2021, I had built a small enough following to attract professional opportunities to write for media outlets and provide expert commentary for the press. Writing horoscopes and astrological forecasts granted professional freedom, allowing me to leave food & bev. in September 2021.
Despite having significant press under my belt and an established career, I didn’t have much support. Sure, my loved ones understood my desire to leave food & bev. mostly because so many of them had been in the industry at some point, too. But my loved ones didn’t understand the shift from server to self-employed, much less the unexpected career pivot from psychological research to astrology. Although years have now passed, most of my family and many of my friends still don’t quite understand what I do for work. If not for the press and paychecks, my offline community would not be as supportive. They probably would have encouraged redirecting my professional attention elsewhere, and honestly, my grandparents regularly ask if I’ll consider doing so. Scrutiny around what I do (freelance writing) and how it can be financially stable (it is) has made me protective of my work. I don’t find myself sharing press, articles, and more with my loved ones because I don’t care to defend how this is a viable professional path even if it’s non-traditional.
So, imagine if they saw me prancing around online in a kooky ensemble putting on a show—that would send my loved ones into the quantum realm. There would be incessant nitpicking, bafflement, and criticism. Some of it would be teasing, but most of it would come from a serious place of concern mixed with disdain. Unfortunately, I wasn’t born into a family of creatives, nor do I find myself among a shameless community who doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The majority of my friends are mindful of their social image, especially their professional reputation. My family aren’t risk-takers unless they’re about to make an egregious financial decision.
If anything, I’m often surrounded by individuals who love to judge—don’t we all? Their judgmental comments on how others live their lives both on and offline essentially deter me from doing anything to become the subject of their commentary. I fail at this, but I try my best not to add fuel to the fire. It’s partially why I have started and stopped so many blogs throughout my life; why I keep my more vulnerable writing in the corners of notebooks instead of in published spaces for all to see; why I don’t even post pictures of myself on Instagram or Facebook anymore. Being perceived by strangers is daunting, but being perceived by people who know me and should love me is downright terrifying. Then again, being perceived is unavoidable, so why does it hold me back? I’m not entirely sure.
Either way, no face-forward, genuine if kooky content creation. At least, not any time soon.
As much as I enjoy interacting with content produced by creators like ASHBY, I know I’m not in a mental or emotional position be in their position. So for now, I hope that ASHBY continues doing her good work as the Lorax, and I hope that there are always people braver than I to continue creating content.
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Cover photo: “Ottoman Beauty with a Butterfly” by by Harold H. Piffard